...neener neener neeneeeeeer...

Hmmm. I guess that's not the best way to start a blog which I'm sure will cause many of you to judge me. ...Hmmm...

So. There was recently this brilliant idea in the state of AZ to give away free passes to various educational "hot spots"....like...The Phoenix Zoo...or the Desert Botanical Gardens...or The Children's Museum. Great concept...you know...times are tough...and free is...FREE! In order to obtain one of these Culture Passes, you must visit your library...with your valid library card...and check one out. The catch...there are only 65 passes to check out at a time at the various participating libraries... and these things are a HOT commodity. Chances are...the library you go to (which, the one closest to us is NOT a participating library) will only have 5 total passes of each "hot spot"...and chances are...only 1 or 2 or 3 will be available...so...you'll have to get there preeeetty early to snag one up.

My girlfriends Jaime and Bre went early one day during their Spring Break to get one...they got to the library early...and there was already a crowd!!!! Imagine...dayafterthanksgivingsales, minus the sales! The girls didn't stand a chance...and by the time they got to the rack w/ passes...they were ALL gone...well...except the Heard Museum...but who wants to take 3andunders there?!

So. I've realllllly been wanting to take Jude back to the Children's Museum...especially since the last time I took him was a complete FLOP! (He was just a wee bit too little to "get it") I've been determined to go down to the library early one day and see if I can't get me one of those passes!!! (Saving $9 per person...for up to 4 people...is TOTALLY worth it!) At the Zoo on Tuesday...we had talked about going to the CM sometime this week...and I mentioned that I was going to attempt to get a Culture Pass...which...luckily...there were THREE that were going to be available the next day at some library far far far away in the ghetto (no joke!). The next morning...Les, Jaime, and I...round up the four kids...pile them into Leslie's car...and head out...

By the time we get to the library...there is a small group of people there. There is no line...just a crowd...just as Jaime warned me. (btw- I NEVER go to afterThanksgiving sales...b/c I loathe being around tons of people...and I especially hate being in a situation where I KNOW people are going to be inconsiderate and I might have to Kung Fu someone) Majority of the people there...hmmm...let's just say...they don't look like the type of people who would be interested in a pass to go to some museum or the zoo... Leslie took the kids to the playground next to the library, leaving Jaime and I to try to get the passes. We were SOOOO hoping to get one...two would have been REALLY nice...and all three would have been the JACKPOT! ::sigh:: ...but...there were a few people there that looked like they were probably there for passes as well...granted...who knows WHICH pass they're there for! One lady- who was there w/ her husband and kid(s)- came over to us and asked if we were there to get a CP, and how it all worked (meaning- is it first come, first served). Jaime politely explained that unfortunately...it wasn't a "nice" process...and that when the doors open...there would probably be a mad rush...that it didn't matter who got to the library first...it only mattered that you got to the passes first. **I must say...that whoever didn't suggest a BETTER method to this madness...is not too bright** The lady kinda seemed put out...even after we pointed to where we thought the passes might be...b/c we were now the competition...even though she'd been there 2 seconds earlier than us. She proceeded to stand w/ her family...game face on...staring us down. **comedy**

Uhoh...this is already turning out to be a looooong blog...but it's a good one...if only to Jaime, Leslie and I! Haha!

Anywho...as the time gets closer to the library opening...the bigger the crowd becomes...and the closer everyone moves towards to door...and the more people who gather in front of you or beside you. **Another Kim-ism- I am a girl who does not mind confrontation. I'm not afraid to tell it how it is...I'm not afraid to have to get up in someones face- if need be....but...I don't like to tick people off on purpose...I don't like people to be mad at me b/c I've done something "jerky"...I'd rather skip the "jerkiness" thus skipping a confrontation...but like I said...if I've done nothing wrong...and I need to defend myself or have a hard conversation...9 out of 10 times, I'll do it...no sweat*** I say this b/c...As Jaime is moving closer...I stay put! I don't want anyone to get mad at me for "cutting" them...but alas...eventually...I also move closer...b/c people are all KINDS of up in my space! Finally FINALLY one of the library workers comes to unlock and open the doors. Now...I wish you could have been there...it was like a movie...where the doors move an a snails pace...pathetic! While the doors open..."GameFace" moves her son closer- and this big dood says "Wow- you're ready to go- I'm going to let you go first!". The doors open. People rush in. Jaime gets plowed over by a stroller. Kim waddles in holding her belly and trying not to slip- man...I didn't wear the right kinda shoes for this! It's my every worst nightmare...people in too close of a proximity to me...pushing...being impolite. Ugh! I see Jaime is a good 12 feet in front of me..."GameFace" is asking for directions. DIRECTIONS! ?! Lady. Let me give you some advice. Have your husband ask for directions...while YOU follow us or just GO- just GO where ever you think it could be...b/c you wasted a LONG time! ...By the time I get to the passes...Jaime already has them in her hand! She was the first one there!!! YES!

Andddddd here's where it gets good and dramatic. As Jaime- with hands shaking- hands me my pass...(and I'm thinking- YES, we got TWO!) "GameFace" goes to the circulation desk and says- quite loudly- "How does this work?! Is it first come first served?! We were here for 30 mins...blah blah blah"...Now. At this point...I'm not paying too much attention to her. I'm mostly just thrilled that we got TWO passes! YES! But as we wait for Leslie to heard the kids over...I notice- as Jaime points out....that "GF" is ppppppoooooooooo'dddddddd...and is giving us the death glare! DEATH GLARE. It is at this point...that I realize...that we don't have two passes...we've got ALL THREE passes!!! (Go Jaime!) Jaime hands Les the pass (a la secret library drug deal) and we all get in line.

I've got to admit. I felt wicked guilty! I didn't know we had all of them...granted...how were we to know that she wanted the Children's Museum passes too? Leslie is just finishing up...and I decide...I'm going to go give her my pass. It's a wayyyy smooshie- notcompletelytypicalKim thing to do...but...drat...what if she goes to PVC? Ugh. As I'm turning my body to walk towards her...she comes barreling forward to Jaime- pulling her son along- pointing her finger- saying... "You two are THE RUDEST ladies I have EVER met!" ::insert innocent face:: "You should be ASHAMED of yourselves.... What a NICE example you are setting forth for your children!" ::insert sound of car slamming on breaks:: Did you just bring our kids into it?! Did you just point your finger at OUR beautiful kids and say that WE are being a bad example?! Wow. I was processing my thoughts...I didn't want to throw down...I mean...we are MILES away from PVC...MILES away from people we'd probably know or run into...but there was that lil part of me...that knew that of all people...DERRICK would be the one who would give me sad puppy dog eyes and make me feel uber guilty if I didn't control my behavior. As I'm processing- Jaime apologizes and tries to explain that she warned her that it was first to get there gets 'em...and whatever smooshie other thing...but the lady won't hear ANY of it...and says- "SO THIS IS HOW YOU PAY IT FORWARD?!" ::process complete:: Ya know...I was GOING to give her a pass. I FELT guilty...but really? You're seriously going to throw a fit? You're mad at US?! Calling US rude when we had NO idea that we were after the same specific pass. Shouldn't you be mad at the LIBRARY for it's flawed process? Hmmm. Yeah...I'm not gunna give you the pass. I mean...sure...maybe it wasn't the most...WWJD thing to do...but...when you are yelling at us...and bringing MY son into it (um- and btw- I consider Matti, Brody, and Zoe my bebe's too)...you're lucky that I didn't bust out w/ some ASIAN SPICE all over your ...well...you get the picture. But I smile...and wait for her to finish her rant. I mean...I can understand her being disappointed...I can even respect that she came up to us to make sure we were aware she was upset...but...come ON!

Jaime checks out...I'm next...as Jaime is wrapping up...Madame Purple walks up to us. "Excuse me ladies...I'm so and so the Branch Manager...." At this point... all the calmness in my body is starting to fade...if she tells us we need to give up a pass, heads will roll! "...can I please see you in my office when you are finished checking out?" Laugh. Out. Loud. ::yes maam:: Jaime turns and give me the "Seriously?!" look...and me...well...I just think this is the best thing ever! Really?! After we check out? So....you're not taking our CPass away...soooo...what's the worst that can happen? You wanna revoke my card? Well...that's fine- I NEVER go to the library (after being the Media Specialist...I've seen first hand what books go through. EW. I buy all my books!) You gunna call the cops on me? For...what? I check out. Jaime and I look at each other...are we seriously going to go? Seriously? Well..."GFace" will probably follow us out if we don't...let's just DO this!

Leslie takes the kids- well...I take Jude...thinking- she can't yell at us too much w/ this adorable creature all up in her face! We follow "Purple" to her office...where she tells us to "have a seat" ::lol:: and closes the door!!!! LOL! I turn and look at Jaime...who's face is FLAMING red and her eyes are piercing...uhoh! Basically...after being informed that she has NEVER gotten a complaint over the CPasses..."Purple" wanted to know if 1. we cut and 2. we pushed/shoved/ran/usedastrollerasaweapon! I answered...and I was sawwwweeeetter than sugah! Did we cut...probably. But no more or less than anyone else...the time gets closer to opening- EVERYone starts gathering in...so...we do too! Did we push/shove/etc? Um...no...I'm PREGNANT...I can barely move! "Purple" tells us she's not there to place blame...just to hear our side of the story...Jaime informs her that really it's the library's lame system... blah blah...that's pretty much it!

We leave the room...me with a smile on my face. Nothing like starting your morning w/ a good faux spanking at the library! What a joke! "GFace" is still there w/ her family...staring at us. Apparently the lack of rubbing of our tooshies leaves a bad taste in her mouth...and she decides to put in a last hurrah of "Hope you have a GRRRREAT day!" I coulda been snarky. But I just kept on walking. We get outside and see that our "getaway" car is waiting for us at the curb! While we were in "Purple's" office...Leslie got the kids buckled in and called her husband...and as she's explaining to him the situation- a few security guys walk towards the library...and she screams to her hubby- "OMG! THE COPS ARE HERE! I NEED TO GET JUDE!!!" LOLOL! She was very anxious to hear what happened! As I'm buckling Jude into his carseat...out walks "GFace" and family. She just can't let it go. I mean...what good is it doing you?! You're mad at US but it's not really US you should be this mad at! "You should explain to my son why...blah blah blah" I'm thinking...really? Really? You want to 1. drag your son into it...and 2. do you REALLY want me to explain something to your son...b/c you're not going to like what I have to say...and I'm going to be 100% honest w/ him! Really? The only thing I say is..."Keep talking if it makes you feel better- but you're not helping one bit..." At this...Leslie gets a wee freaked out...she doesn't want a confrontation...Leslie says- "Kim- just leave Jude unbuckled until I pull away somewhere else!" And THAT is what finally did me in. I wasn't mad at Les...but I was frustrated that this lady's persistent yelling as freaked my friend out... So...don't judge me...know that I was very pleasant and VERY unKimlike up until this point... I say..."NO! I am going to make sure my son is SAFE! And if SHE wants to come say some more...if she wants to THROW DOWN...then LET'S DO THIS!" ::hangs head in shame:: Luckily- I got him buckled and got into the front seat...and there were no need for any pulling of hair...or cat scratches... (I only share all this b/c I want you to know that even though I love Jesus...I'm human too...)

We got our passes...we had a delicious celebratory lunch at the OG....and later- Les got a call from the "Superintendent of the Library" inquiring about the "incident" earlier in the day...Les was so nervous that she hung up...only to find out later that it was a girlfriend's hubby calling to give her a hard time! LOL! What a day. But...it was hilarious. And...I'm glad I experienced it w/ my BFFs!

Dear Husband of GameFace,
I mean...wow. You just stood there. Really? If you agreed w/ your wife...that we were in the wrong...you could have came to her aide and tried to reason w/ us a different way. I can only assume the ranting and the telling on us to Madame Purple was in hopes of getting one of our passes taken away... YOU should have tried a different tactic...the results could have been different than me smiling at you while my pass was securely tucked away in my purse. ...And...if you DIDN'T agree with your wife...you should have told her that she looked like a fool. Because...really...she did...and I'm sure she was only getting more angry at our lack of reaction to her ridiculousness. ...And...I'm sure that when push comes to shove- YOU are the one who had to suffer listening to her go on and on and on about the bigtallasian and shortblondechick who were the "RUDEST women in the history of women"...


DLo might let me get away with alot...he might put up with alot...but he would NEVER have let me get away w/ letting our family of three look that retarded. I would have gotten the smackdown...or...he would have tried to help the situation in a different way... regardless...he wouldn't have stood there with a pathetic look on his face. The. End.