...How Do I Love You?...

I got this book at the book fair this year... I'm obsessed w/ getting books for Jude. We read to him every night before bed...and several times during the day... Right now, Jude is in LOVE w/ books that have flaps... you know "peekaboo" books. He usually just tries to eat all other books...but he's getting alot better at turning pages and actually looking at the pictures on his own. Anywho. I fell in love with this book from the first page... and recently, DLo has discovered the book and loves it too... he recently said that it almost brings him to tears to read... so... I thought I'd share it...

HOW DO I LOVE YOU?
by Marion Dane Bauer
illustrated by Caroline Jayne Church

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.
I love you as the sun loves the bright blue days.
I love you as the bee loves a fragrant flower.
I love you as the thirsty duck loves a sudden shower.
I love you as the bird loves a song to sing.
I love you as the waking bear loves the smell of spring.
I love you as the cat loves a sunny sill.
And as the dancing snowflakes love the winter's chill.
How do I love you? Let me tell you how.
I love you as the nest loves the sturdy bough.
I love you as the sea loves the sandy shore.
And as the ancient world loved the dinosaur.
I love you as the wind loves its own sweet sound.
And as our friendly Earth loves to spin around.
I love you as the moon loves each shining star.
I love all that you will be and everything that you are.


Another book that is great for slightly older kiddos like this is I Love You the Purplest by Barbara M. Joosse.

...live like you were dying...

So. My church is doing a series called Lived Like You Were Dying... At first I thought...yeah yeah... I've heard that before... but sometime after the first session, I really began internalizing that phrase. Wow. What if I were dying. How would my life be different? If I had thirty days to live... how would I occupy my time...and how is that different than it is now. I began to realize how trivial things can bring me down. How I can get irritated at the stupidest of things.... how I let the world dictate my mood. Dumb. If I had only 30 days to spend w/ my son and my love... I would hope that I wouldn't spend them telling Jude "NO" at opening the cabinets...or nagging my husband to fold the laundry. And- truth be told- we don't know how long we have on this earth. No... I don't have some fatal cancer or illness (that I know of...) but... should He choose- my next breath could be my last. I could dwell on all the things that I have not yet accomplished... but... that would be a waste- right? So. If I were truly living like I had 30 days left... I'd probably look like a completely different person... right? Hmmm. I don't know. I think the number one thing that would change would be my attitude... And as Pastor Greg spoke this past weekend- I'd probably speak a little sweeter... idk. Makes ya think...

So. I'd just like to send out some shoutouts to people I love... b/c I'd hate to be gone tomorrow and they not know how I feel about them.... (btw- if you want to watch the messages online... check out www.palmvalley.org)

* Leslie and Jaime- you have been the best friends that I always dreamed of.... I will always love you for being so supportive and understanding... I will always thank you for the screams of laughter...the hours of talking... the yummy desserts shared... the tears that have been shed. I am a better person for knowing both of you!

* Love- I mean... seriously? You are the ebony to my... (what is ivory mixed w/ a lil yellow?). I love you for your bluntness... your loudness... your ability to laugh at how over spiritual we can all be sometimes. Even a zillion miles apart- you know how to warm my heart.

* Lindsay- Wow. Who knew that it would take me leaving the school and actually utilizing my FB for us to become friends? You are the friend that I want to be to others. You are so caring and giving. I KNOW that God has some awesome things planned for you... (2 more years, right?!)

* Katie- You are the apple of my eye! ;) You were the one who helped me out of a dark place... even when I didn't know how deep I was. Thank you for always being there...even when what I was saying hurt. I will never ever forget being pregnant together- and I'm pretty sure Chickfila and Sonic will always remind me of you!!! :D

* Tamara and Jenn- Thank you for being friends w/ the loud and goofy Asian in HS. There are many times that I wish we could go back to those carefree days! Jenn- remember that it was YOU who always told me that "iron sharpens iron"... girl- I love you- you need to look at where you are in life and GET IT TOGETHER! It's time to stop blaming other people and their unfortunate life situations for making you who you are... and take responsibility for your actions. Be the woman that you know God intends you to be. You know I will ALWAYS be there for you...

* Melody and Roderick- Best. Inlaws. Ever. I feel the power of your prayers daily. Thank you for loving Jesus and raising your son to do the same. I could not ask for two better examples of Godly people to be Jude's grandparents!

* Mom and Dad- I never got it... growing up... I never understood why you "parented" me the way you did... and now that I have Jude... I think I have a better understanding. Your love for me is the closest example I can think of to Christ's love for us. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for guiding me and guarding me and letting me learn from my mistakes. I love you both so very much...

* Jude- I didn't understand what happiness was until you were conceived. From the first moments you and I have been together...I have loved you with every fiber of my being... you could never remember the random talks I would have with you when you were in mommy's belly... the smiles that you would bring to my face by kicking me during the day... you'll never remember how you looked at me (or the blob that you could see) in the middle of the night in the hospital room- just hours after I had you... or how anxious I was at every little noise you made or thing you did... but I hope you remember how much I love you...and I hope that when you think back of your crazy ole' mom... you remember that her and your dad were on fire for God...

* Derrick- you are my best friend. You put up w/ so much of my garbage... and yet... you still seem to love me more today than yesterday... I could not be who I am w/o you by my side. Thank you for being the leader of this household... thank you for having such a strong faith in what He can do... thank you for being an example of a Godly man... not a perfect man- but one who loves the Lord and has a heart to do BIG things for His kingdom. I love you so much... you are perfect for me...

...a picture says a thousand words...

(Which is really helpful when the subject of the picture cannot talk yet!)

I'm thinking this one says... "No Touchie!"

...boycott...

It's so cute- whenever Jude doesn't want to sleep...he'll stand up in his crib and toss his binkers out of it... usually it's laying just at the edge of the crib... but this time, he really chucked it!

...behind...

No...I'm not talking about the big one that resides on my backside.... I'm so behind w/ blogging!!! I have a zillion things I want to write...but I find that I always either 1. Forget when I sit down to blog or 2. Don't sit down to blog!

So. In a nutshell:

*Things have been super busy at Casa Logan. It always is this time of year- but w/ the Easter services (which- btw- ROCKED) done...things should slow down.

*Had a great reunion w/ Marc- who we taught 4th grade w/ until he moved to Michigan. It was great seeing him and Trish and their daughter Ella- who is SO big now!!!












*Also had a reunion w/ some HS choir buddies of mine- Sanna, Mike and Eleanor!!! It was so great getting together w/ them- haven't seen Ellie in 10+ years!!! And- honestly- it didn't feel awkward or anything!!!! We had a great time catching up! I hope to do it again next time Sanna comes into town!

*Been reading a lot lately- but just cannot finish Inkheart for the life of me!

*Been getting better at reading the Word- only a month behind! ::sadface!::

*Been reading to Jude during the day out of The Beginner's Bible- he doesn't get as into it as he does the "Peekaboo" books, but it still is nice to know that I'm having that time w/ my boy.

*Jude's allergies have been terrible this week- poor kid can't breathe...so he's having a tough time sleeping at night and eating during the day!

*Having a blast watching Riley on Mondays- it's SO adorable to see the friendship blooming between the two of them...well- I think mostly Jude is smitten!

*Going to TN to see the Great Grandparents in a few weeks- can. not. wait.

*Took a BUTT ton of Jude's stuff over to my parent's house...they have more room than we do- going over there this week to clean out my old room and get rid of all the toys and stuff that I don't need (and never really needed). I'm excited to go through my old books to give to Jude!!!

*Planning Jude's 1st bday party... going to do a Little Einsteins theme... and so far, I'm only having a family party... can't decide if I want to do a friends party too...scheduled Jude's 1 year pix- can't wait for those- and contacted the cake lady.... MMMMmmmm.



I guess that's it... at least... it's all I can think of at the top of my head! :D

...eleven...

I know, right?! He's 11 months old today!!! What in THE world??? The next time I write a monthupdate- will be on his BIRTHDAY!!! ::WAAAAAAHHHH!!:: My baby boy is growing up... and not only is he just the biggest lil' chunk there is... but he's starting to act like a big boy too!!! I often catch myself staring at him w/ my hand on my hip in a sassy way telling him- "you may be the size of a 2 year old... but you're not in your terrible two's yet, buster!" He's just gotten so much personality lately...and by personality- I mean- he knows what he wants and doesn't want and DANG IT you'd better be on the same page as him! LOL. I love it though- I really do. Let's see- he's been pulling himself up really well...and now he walks along the couch or will walk w/ us if we hold his hands- except- he gets bored of it real quick (as in- the first 5 steps) and demands to crawl! He gives kisses like crazy- which I cannot get enough of- and sometimes when I tell him that I love him- he'll automatically give me kisses! ::sigh!:: He's finally saying "dadadada"- for a while he'd only say mamamamamam or babababababa or apapapapapapa but no "dada" and while "appa" means dad in Korean- DLo informed me that it means nothing to him since he didn't grow up hearing it. ::scowl:: So- I put Jude through "'dada' bootcamp"!!! He is funny too he faux talks and it's just great! We were at a "reunion" the other day- and I was holding Jude and he was babbling- and I would respond back by mimicking him... and I realized one of my friends looking at me- and just said- Yup- this is what I do ALL day!!! And... I love it! I've been "planning" his party for a while now... meaning- stressing over it. W/ the 9million people in DLo's family... kinda limits the amount of friends we can invite w/o being overly crowded.... unless I throw a family party and a friends party... but then it's like... he's ONE...do I really have 2 parties?! And- I don't want people to feel like they need to bring gifts and stuff... so. I'm kinda... not knowing what to do! Never really threw a party for my child before- ya know?! :D I digress!



Jude-
Mommy and Daddy love you so much. Words cannot express how blessed I have been to be able to watch you grow from this tiny lil squirmy smoosh to the lil' lover that smiles when you see me in the mornings- saying "mamamamama" and smacking me on the face w/ your fat lil' fingers! I LOVE every-single-second of it... You are growing up way too fast... I feel like every time I blink- you're learning something new... and I know that one day- I'll be staring at my grown boy thinking the same thing... I love you, son. I pray that you will have a passion for the Lord and will do mighty things for His kingdom... I look forward to watching you continue growing... I just ...wish time would go a wee bit slower... :)
-Mommy

...blog vomit...

Lots of things on my mind lately...and not alot of time to blog... so... here's my brain dump...

got to make a decision about going back to work next year- i know what i'm going to do- it just unsettles me to make things so "final"... still haven't finished editing christina's pictures- which irritate me- but i can only edit them on dlo's computer- and he's stingy w/ his computer time... there are people that i have encountered in life- that i wish i had not- they only cause frustration and bring me down- i wish i could open up a can on them- but my love of JC stops me... i am so in love w/ my husband, but often don't feel like i show him enough... i really want to take a photography class, but i don't know if i can commit to doing it... i also really miss singing- it hurts my heart, actually... i have awesome friends- i love them dearly and wish we could spend more time together... i look forward to the future of my family- derrick and i were talking about things we'd like to do as jude gets older- warms my heart... playing at westgate is way fun- dlo and i need to do it more often... i need to be in the Word more- i disappoint myself greatly in this area... i also need to be more guarded- i'm the open book that needs to be slightly less open... speaking of books- i've read a butt TON of them lately (16 books this year)- some really good and some- not so much... i'll read pretty much anything and everything- but i prefer "children's books"... wish i had more time to finally start my photography business legitimately- need to do more shoots- feel like i'm getting rusty... i'm having issues w/ my back- which actually hasn't been bothering me lately- but the chiropractor that i saw isn't communitcating w/ me anymore- which irritates me- although- i heard he had a death in the family- but it's been a MONTH- get w/ it sir- or get your peeps to contact me... i had a moment where i really missed being pregnant- but- i am still not convinced that i want more children- and i'm not convinced that i'm done having children either- mostly- i love jude so much- i can't imagine sharing myself w/ anyone else... i have been loving the amount of time jude has gotten to spend w/ my parents- it warms my heart when he throws himself out of my arms to go see my dad... i wish jude got to see dlo's parents/family more- but they all live so far away... excited to go see family in TN in about a month... sad that b/c i'll be in TN, i'll miss leslie's grad- and hearing mr. obama speak- not that i care for obama, but it would have been rad to hear the current prez speak at something... i'm constantly cleaning the house- which irritates me b/c i'm a complete neat freak- and the house is never neat anymore- no matter what my friends say!!!... i love my HT- i especially love that my bff is coming now- it's great to have "moments" w/ her during deep discussion time! reminds me of being at work- so- i won't miss it as much when i turn in my letter of resignation... i'm pretty sure i'm back to my "prejude" weight- which most people would be congratulating me for- except- that means i've actually gained weight b/c i had lost all my baby weight plus some... i need to exercise more... looking forward to the summer... can't believe my baby boy will be one next month... love watching him grow and learn new things- i just know he's going to start walking soon... my favorite thing in life right now is when jude gives us kisses- nice big open mouthed slobber kisses- it's sweet when he gives them w/o being asked too- melts me heart... i'm pretty sure that being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me- i just wish that i could still balance out that and being a wife and being me... i feel guilty that i get to stay home w/ my boy- when my gf's had to work... excited to spend time w/ marc-ymarc and trish and ella and the gang on sunday... eyes are starting to get droopy and my contacts are drying up...

Guess that's my cue to stop writing, eh?