...live like you were dying...

So. My church is doing a series called Lived Like You Were Dying... At first I thought...yeah yeah... I've heard that before... but sometime after the first session, I really began internalizing that phrase. Wow. What if I were dying. How would my life be different? If I had thirty days to live... how would I occupy my time...and how is that different than it is now. I began to realize how trivial things can bring me down. How I can get irritated at the stupidest of things.... how I let the world dictate my mood. Dumb. If I had only 30 days to spend w/ my son and my love... I would hope that I wouldn't spend them telling Jude "NO" at opening the cabinets...or nagging my husband to fold the laundry. And- truth be told- we don't know how long we have on this earth. No... I don't have some fatal cancer or illness (that I know of...) but... should He choose- my next breath could be my last. I could dwell on all the things that I have not yet accomplished... but... that would be a waste- right? So. If I were truly living like I had 30 days left... I'd probably look like a completely different person... right? Hmmm. I don't know. I think the number one thing that would change would be my attitude... And as Pastor Greg spoke this past weekend- I'd probably speak a little sweeter... idk. Makes ya think...

So. I'd just like to send out some shoutouts to people I love... b/c I'd hate to be gone tomorrow and they not know how I feel about them.... (btw- if you want to watch the messages online... check out www.palmvalley.org)

* Leslie and Jaime- you have been the best friends that I always dreamed of.... I will always love you for being so supportive and understanding... I will always thank you for the screams of laughter...the hours of talking... the yummy desserts shared... the tears that have been shed. I am a better person for knowing both of you!

* Love- I mean... seriously? You are the ebony to my... (what is ivory mixed w/ a lil yellow?). I love you for your bluntness... your loudness... your ability to laugh at how over spiritual we can all be sometimes. Even a zillion miles apart- you know how to warm my heart.

* Lindsay- Wow. Who knew that it would take me leaving the school and actually utilizing my FB for us to become friends? You are the friend that I want to be to others. You are so caring and giving. I KNOW that God has some awesome things planned for you... (2 more years, right?!)

* Katie- You are the apple of my eye! ;) You were the one who helped me out of a dark place... even when I didn't know how deep I was. Thank you for always being there...even when what I was saying hurt. I will never ever forget being pregnant together- and I'm pretty sure Chickfila and Sonic will always remind me of you!!! :D

* Tamara and Jenn- Thank you for being friends w/ the loud and goofy Asian in HS. There are many times that I wish we could go back to those carefree days! Jenn- remember that it was YOU who always told me that "iron sharpens iron"... girl- I love you- you need to look at where you are in life and GET IT TOGETHER! It's time to stop blaming other people and their unfortunate life situations for making you who you are... and take responsibility for your actions. Be the woman that you know God intends you to be. You know I will ALWAYS be there for you...

* Melody and Roderick- Best. Inlaws. Ever. I feel the power of your prayers daily. Thank you for loving Jesus and raising your son to do the same. I could not ask for two better examples of Godly people to be Jude's grandparents!

* Mom and Dad- I never got it... growing up... I never understood why you "parented" me the way you did... and now that I have Jude... I think I have a better understanding. Your love for me is the closest example I can think of to Christ's love for us. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for guiding me and guarding me and letting me learn from my mistakes. I love you both so very much...

* Jude- I didn't understand what happiness was until you were conceived. From the first moments you and I have been together...I have loved you with every fiber of my being... you could never remember the random talks I would have with you when you were in mommy's belly... the smiles that you would bring to my face by kicking me during the day... you'll never remember how you looked at me (or the blob that you could see) in the middle of the night in the hospital room- just hours after I had you... or how anxious I was at every little noise you made or thing you did... but I hope you remember how much I love you...and I hope that when you think back of your crazy ole' mom... you remember that her and your dad were on fire for God...

* Derrick- you are my best friend. You put up w/ so much of my garbage... and yet... you still seem to love me more today than yesterday... I could not be who I am w/o you by my side. Thank you for being the leader of this household... thank you for having such a strong faith in what He can do... thank you for being an example of a Godly man... not a perfect man- but one who loves the Lord and has a heart to do BIG things for His kingdom. I love you so much... you are perfect for me...