...blog vomit...

Lots of things on my mind lately...and not alot of time to blog... so... here's my brain dump...

got to make a decision about going back to work next year- i know what i'm going to do- it just unsettles me to make things so "final"... still haven't finished editing christina's pictures- which irritate me- but i can only edit them on dlo's computer- and he's stingy w/ his computer time... there are people that i have encountered in life- that i wish i had not- they only cause frustration and bring me down- i wish i could open up a can on them- but my love of JC stops me... i am so in love w/ my husband, but often don't feel like i show him enough... i really want to take a photography class, but i don't know if i can commit to doing it... i also really miss singing- it hurts my heart, actually... i have awesome friends- i love them dearly and wish we could spend more time together... i look forward to the future of my family- derrick and i were talking about things we'd like to do as jude gets older- warms my heart... playing at westgate is way fun- dlo and i need to do it more often... i need to be in the Word more- i disappoint myself greatly in this area... i also need to be more guarded- i'm the open book that needs to be slightly less open... speaking of books- i've read a butt TON of them lately (16 books this year)- some really good and some- not so much... i'll read pretty much anything and everything- but i prefer "children's books"... wish i had more time to finally start my photography business legitimately- need to do more shoots- feel like i'm getting rusty... i'm having issues w/ my back- which actually hasn't been bothering me lately- but the chiropractor that i saw isn't communitcating w/ me anymore- which irritates me- although- i heard he had a death in the family- but it's been a MONTH- get w/ it sir- or get your peeps to contact me... i had a moment where i really missed being pregnant- but- i am still not convinced that i want more children- and i'm not convinced that i'm done having children either- mostly- i love jude so much- i can't imagine sharing myself w/ anyone else... i have been loving the amount of time jude has gotten to spend w/ my parents- it warms my heart when he throws himself out of my arms to go see my dad... i wish jude got to see dlo's parents/family more- but they all live so far away... excited to go see family in TN in about a month... sad that b/c i'll be in TN, i'll miss leslie's grad- and hearing mr. obama speak- not that i care for obama, but it would have been rad to hear the current prez speak at something... i'm constantly cleaning the house- which irritates me b/c i'm a complete neat freak- and the house is never neat anymore- no matter what my friends say!!!... i love my HT- i especially love that my bff is coming now- it's great to have "moments" w/ her during deep discussion time! reminds me of being at work- so- i won't miss it as much when i turn in my letter of resignation... i'm pretty sure i'm back to my "prejude" weight- which most people would be congratulating me for- except- that means i've actually gained weight b/c i had lost all my baby weight plus some... i need to exercise more... looking forward to the summer... can't believe my baby boy will be one next month... love watching him grow and learn new things- i just know he's going to start walking soon... my favorite thing in life right now is when jude gives us kisses- nice big open mouthed slobber kisses- it's sweet when he gives them w/o being asked too- melts me heart... i'm pretty sure that being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me- i just wish that i could still balance out that and being a wife and being me... i feel guilty that i get to stay home w/ my boy- when my gf's had to work... excited to spend time w/ marc-ymarc and trish and ella and the gang on sunday... eyes are starting to get droopy and my contacts are drying up...

Guess that's my cue to stop writing, eh?